Say what?

• Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
• Nobody understands us crabby people.
• Old age, sweet talk and treachery can beat youth, skill and enthusiasm any day!
• When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
• Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most.
• I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
• I suspect my purpose in life is to be a lesson to others.
• No problem too small to baffle this expert!
• I want to die like my grandfather did - peacefully, in his sleep.
  Not shrieking in terror like the passengers in his car!
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Do not put off until tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today.
• Whatever you do, keep moving! It's hard to hit a moving target!
• I've always wanted to learn procrastination, but I keep putting it off.
• I started life with nothing. I still have most of it left.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• I'm never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
• My short-term memory is not as good as it used to be. Also, my short-term
  memory is not as good as it used to be.